Category: Joke Board
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
Ladies.....Quit Laughing.
Heal the past, live the present, dream the future.
Enjoy life!!!
Bob
I like some of these!
Bob all these are great! Thanks for the laugh, man!
thanks for sharing :)
I like some of these, especially 14 and the last one.
thanks for the laugh, Bob.
OMG! Most of these are so right on
Ugh, I hate fitted sheets! There are some great ones here.
OK here's one that goes with the fitted sheets:
Why, ladies, must you install the furry toilet seat covers? I mean, a guy goes to take a leak after putting the seat up, and ... the furry seat drops! Don't do that.
I love 3, 8, 18, 19, and 23. So true!
lol! live 17, though in my case they mostly start with hynicon(lol)these were awesome.
Ugh, damn those fitted sheets ...
thank you for the laughs.
i so do 14. i even assign ringtones to them so i know when to ignore them.
I like a lot of these cause they are true.
I some times wish that I can go back in time and take back all of the bad things that I have done in the past.
but that is over with now and can't change anything that has happened before.
I am glad that I have in my own ways cause I am a totally different person than I use to be.
I sue to be a person that would just have have sex with any one.
I di not care what they had or what was going for them.
that is the type of person that I use to be.
Now I do not do that.
I am finily maried and now my feelings have changed.
I am so glad that I am not that type of person any more cause I know that I would have caught some kind of dezies that can harm me.
Now i am a parent with a one year old daughter and married with just one child.
Gona have another one but I am adopting that one to my dad.
It is hard but I want to get my tools ties so that I do not in this situation ever again.
I also do not want to have to take birth control cause that is a pain in the but.
These are awesome!!! I'm 27 and some of these are so true!! LOL!
4, 5, 6, fuck yes. 14 yes,
freezer has a light,
and sorry men, i'm still laughing.
yes i just reread this after a while.
i like all of these cause they are all true